Drillbit Taylor

Ryan (Troy Gentile) and Wade (Nate Hartley) are two boys starting high school. Ryan decided that he would enter high school with a nickname (T-Dog), and Wade decided that he'd find a girlfriend. Wade met Brooke (Valerie Tian) and developed a crush for her. Two bullies, Filkins (Alex Frost) and Ronnie (Josh Peck), attacked a geek, Emmit Oosterhaus (David Dorfman) by shoving him into his locker. Wade intervened. Filkins and Ronnie began targeting Ryan and Wade.The next day Ryan and Wade met Emmit, who followed them around. Ryan thought having Emmit around would get them bullied. He was right. Filkins and Ronnie humiliated them at any given moment.The boys complained to the principal (Stephen Root), but Filkins played innocent. After school, a furious Filkins chased them with his car. Wade suggested hiring a bodyguard. They placed an ad on the Internet, and ended up selecting Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson). Taylor pretended to be a martial arts expert and mercenary, but was really a homeless beggar who showered at a public beach and ate out of a dumpster. His real intention of becoming their bodyguard was to rob them. He intended to use the money to buy a ticket to (Canada).Drillbit told the boys to find some common interests and become friends with Filkins and Ronnie. They found out that Filkins liked rapping. Ryan challenged Filkins to a rap battle but got carried away by humiliating him. Ryan realized what had happened and fled. An angry Filkins ambushed Ryan, Wade and Emmit, the boys tried using a tactic Drillbit taught them but it ultimately failed and Filkins punched Wade.The boys were furious with Drillbit's teachings but Drillbit defended himself. The boys decided to bring him to school as a substitute teacher, using "Drillbit" as a full name(Dr. Illbit). Drillbit met a fellow teacher, Ms. Zachey (Leslie Mann), and they started an affair. As a sub, Drillbit tortured Filkins and Ronnie with endless chores and exercises.One morning as Ronnie's mother (Lisa Lampanelli) drove him to school, he saw Taylor taking a shower at the beach; his mother revealed that he was a homeless man. Ronnie told Filkins. Filkins found the boys and started pushing them around and asking about Drillbit until Drillbit showed up, and Filkins punched Drillbit. Later Drillbit explained to the boys that he could not hit a minor. The boys began to doubt Drillbit's abilities as a bodyguard.Later on at Wade's house, they caught Drillbit's homeless friends stealing everything in sight. Taylor confessed that his real name was Bob and he went A.W.O.L. from the U.S. Army. The boys fired Drillbit. The parents took things up with the principal, who contacted the police. Filkins played innocent and charmed all the adults. Wade and his friends could not believe what was happening.The next day, Wade finally built up enough courage to ask Brooke out, but was interrupted by Filkins and Ronnie. Wade stood up for Brooke but got brutally ridiculed. Gathering up his courage, Wade challenged Filkins to a fight which ended up being at Filkins party. Wade asked his friends to help, but Emmit refused to get involved. The boys arrived at the Filkin's party and confronted him. After one successful bout, Filkins went on a rampage and chased Wade and Ryan with a floor lamp, the fight lead outside in the front garden. Emmit suddenly showed up and grabbed Filkins' leg. While this seemed to be a useless gesture, his persistence eventually triped Filkins, and he trapped him in a devious leg-lock until Ronnie arrived and knocked out Emmit. Ryan grabbed Ronnie and put him in a bear hug. The boys were putting up a decent fight, with Ryan using his muscle and Wade taking advantage of his long reach until Filkins and Ronnie subdued them through a mixture of deception--when Ronnie punched out Ryan after promising to give up in the midst of the bear hug--and cheating--because Ronnie then grabbed Wade to double-team him.Drillbit suddenly showed up and tried to talk Filkins down and disperse the crowd. Filkins punched Drillbit, who continued to take punches without a fight until a rogue kid said he was not a minor and he beat Filkins up within seconds with a mixture of throws, kicks, and punches. Impressed, the boys praise him, though he tried to pass off the display as a protective instinct--like a mother lifting a car off her child--he believed that it was due to adrenaline. Within minutes, the policed show up and Drillbit fled for fear of prosecution. Filkins woke up and threw a samurai sword at the boys, but Drillbit reappeared and caught it. He saved them but ended up losing his pinkyAfter the fight Brooke kissed Wade, Ryan accepted Emmit and it was revealed nobody ever liked Filkins including Ronnie.Filkins was arrested and was shipped off to Hong Kong where his parents were living.Drillbit got sent to prison but ended up being released within a few weeks and the film ended with Wade, Ryan, Emmit and Lisa enthusiastically welcoming him back into society.