Wrongfully Accused
World-famous violinist Ryan Harrison (Leslie Nielsen) is seen giving a concert. Afterward, he goes to a party where he meets Hibbing Goodhue (Michael York), a millionaire who sponsors Harrison's performances, as well as Goodhue's seductive wife Lauren (Kelly LeBrock) and his possible mistress Cass Lake (Melinda McGraw)..
The next evening he finds a note in his car which reads: "Ryan, darling, why are you leaving me, Hibbing is out of town, if I don't see you tonight I'm prepared to take my own life. I am desperate! And I'm out of milk, can you pick up a half gallon of 2% on the way? Yours in adultery, Lauren."
When he goes to the Goodhue mansion (with milk, of course), he bumps into Sean Laughrea (Aaron Pearl) who has just killed Goodhue (together with an unknown accomplice). There is a violent fight. Harrison discovers during it that Sean is missing an eye, an arm, and a leg.
When he wakes up, Harrison has a bow and arrow, a handgun and a machine gun in his hands and there are cops all over the place. He is quickly arrested and convicted for murder.
Harrison escapes when the bus that was to bring him to the prison slips over a banana peel. He almost gets hit by a train that is playing hide-and-seek with him. Lieutenant Fergus Falls (Richard Crenna) arrives on the scene, takes charge, barks out orders and vows to do whatever it takes to capture the fugitive.
Harrison flees to "The Village of Hilltop," whose sign boasts "More Police Per Capita Than Any Other Town in The World." He replaces his prison garb with fisherman clothing and leaves, but not before running into America's Most Wanted host, John Walsh in the store.
He returns to the Goodhue mansion where he encounters Cass, who is trying to retrieve something from behind a portrait. She tells him she knows he's innocent and believes Lauren is the killer, but refuses to say anything to police because Lauren is her sister. Harrison replies, "I wish we could be friends, but women and me are like water and fire: wet and flammable."
Harrison starts having flashbacks to the party, remembers that Sean was the bartender to whom Cass gave a great amount of money. The police arrive. Harrison disguises himself as a gardener and leaves with Fergus Falls in hot pursuit. They end up in a sewer, where a long chase ensues.
Cass explains that she wanted to kill Goodhue but scouldn't and threw the gun into the lake. Fergus Falls tries to bash in the door with a battering ram (made from a Duraflame log). Harrison escapes through a window, landing in a hamper of used diapers. His stench causes flowers to wilt and pedestrians to faint in the street.
Disguised as a doctor, Harrison enters a hospital. Sean enters to get a new prosthetic leg that is really a cleverly disguised gun. Harrison finds out that Sean and Lauren are both related to Cass, who can't choose between Harrison and her family.
Harrison follows them to a cornfield. Cass is there. So is Lauren, who tells him she shot Hibbing Goodhue, to which Harrison replies: "I should have guessed that you did it ... but I didn't." Cass shoots him. A couple of minutes later, after Lauren leaves, we see Harrison standing on the balcony saying to Cass: "When you shot me at point blank range, I knew you loved me."
Sean and Lauren plot to kill their father, Sir Robert McKintyre, who is secretary-general of the United Nations). Harrison, disguised in a Scottish kilt, attends a party where he sees Sean aiming his leg gun at McKintyre. He just manages to save McKintyre. They are cornered by Lauren, Sean and accomplices, but Fergus Falls and a SWAT team arrive just in the nick of time. Falls officially tells Harrison that he was "wrongfully accused."
In the last scene, we see Harrison and Cass on a cruise ship, spoofing Titanic as lovers at the bow of a great vessel, then bumping their heads on a low bridge.
