The War of the Roses

The film begins with lawyer Gavin D'Amato (Danny DeVito) talking to a client (Dan Castellaneta) about the subject of divorce and cigarettes. The conversation between Gavin and the client frames the film, with Gavin functioning as the narrator of the story. Gavin tells the man that he "quit smoking for thirteen years, and then Barbara showed up". A flashback shows Barbara Rose (Kathleen Turner) trying to seduce Gavin. Gavin then begins to tell his client about the war of the Roses.Oliver Rose (Michael Douglas) meets Barbara in Nantucket at the end of the tourist season. They are both bidding on items in a small auction tent. Oliver bids on an antique Japanese Homunculus (a delicate statue), but he is out-bid by Barbara, who wins the statue. Oliver tries to get the statue from Barbara and they have a pleasant conversation; Barbara also shows Oliver some strength moves from her gymnast days. Later, she misses her ferry and winds up having sex with Oliver.A few years later, Oliver is working as a lawyer, Barbara is a waitress, and they have two children, Josh and Carolyn. The children are spoiled and disobedient, as Barbara thought that giving them whatever they wanted (including candy) would lead to them growing up to be balanced and well-behaved. Barbara encourages Oliver out for a walk on Christmas Eve and reveals a Morgan, a classic car that Oliver has always wanted and which she bought him for Christmas.A few more years later, Oliver has now become a successful lawyer, Barbara is still a waitress, and the kids are obese. Oliver has invited his senior partners for dinner at their apartment and wants to make a good impression. Oliver shows off their Baccarat glassware and insists that Barbara tell the story of how they got it. Barbara is angered by Oliver's constant interruptions and the fake laugh he uses around his colleagues. That night, she begins to taunt Oliver about his laugh, but the fight is resolved quickly.Some time later, Barbara stops by a mansion to write a note to the homeowner in the hopes of buying the home some day. She finds herself in the midst of the owner's funeral, and the Roses eventually buy the house.After years of perfecting the house, Barbara finishes it. The kids (now trim and athletic) are away at college. She starts a catering business and buys herself a large truck, much to Oliver's chagrin. As events unfold, Barbara has become annoyed with everything Oliver does, and Oliver is oblivious to his wife's feelings. He fails to read a contract she'd asked him to read and is focused on his own success. That night, Oliver attempts to wrestle playfully, but Barbara is angry and ends up squeezing Oliver between her legs, then ignoring him when he asks what is wrong with her.The next day, Oliver suffers what he thinks is a heart attack while at lunch with clients. He is rushed to the hospital. Oliver, thinking he is going to die, writes a sentimental note to Barbara. He learns he did not have a heart attack, and he waits for Barbara to pick him up at the hospital. She never shows, and he ends up taking a train home.Later, Barbara comes home and is relieved that Oliver is okay. He reads her his note. Later that night, Oliver is asleep and Barbara is restless. She wakes Oliver by putting her fingers up his nose, wanting to talk to him about what happened to her on the way to the hospital. She tells him that she thought he might be dead and she was scared at how happy she felt at the thought of being free of him. She tells him that she wants a divorce.Both Oliver and Barbara want the house and its contents, and neither will move out or compromise. They begin harassing each other, making wild scenes, and destroying each other's prized possessions. In one scene, a drunken Oliver interrupts a dinner Barbara is hosting for her clients. He blows his nose and tosses the used tissue into a soup tureen, then urinates on a fish platter in the kitchen. Barbara hits him on the back with a pan, and then runs outside and drives her truck into Oliver's car. As Barbara's guests watch in disbelief, Barbara drives over Oliver's beloved Morgan, destroying their lawn in the process.Later, the Roses agree to meet civilly in their dining room. Barbara makes Oliver pate, which he describes as delicious. Although Oliver's dog is alive and well outside, Barbara insinuates the pate is made from the dog. Enraged, Oliver attacks her, and the fight results in their running through the house, throwing dishes and other valuables at each other. Oliver throws a chair at the housekeeper, Susan, after mistaking her for Barbara. He gets Susan to leave, and Susan calls Gavin for help.Eventually, the only ornament left in the house is the one from the auction. Oliver tricks Barbara and ends up smashing it; Barbara pretends to be hurt by a flying shard, only to attack Oliver and leap onto the chandelier when he tries to help her. Oliver tries to save her with a crowbar but is forced to cling to the chandelier as well. While they are trapped on the chandelier, Oliver says he still loves her—then the phone rings, preventing Barbara from answering him. The Roses see Susan and Gavin and yell for them to get a ladder.The chandelier drops slightly and Barbara reveals that she loosened the bolt to make it drop on him, but he assures her that the two wires could each hold 200 lbs. However, the wires snap from the junction box and the chandelier falls onto the hallway floor. With his last bit of strength, Oliver puts his hand on Barbara's shoulder; she looks over and throws his hand off. Gavin and Susan burst in the house and see the Roses dead on the floor.In the final scene, Gavin is talking to his client, telling him that he has one of two options: he can go ahead with the divorce he wants, which would require a long fight, or he can get up and go home to his wife and try to work things out. Gavin turns his back and the client walks out of the office. Gavin smiles, calls his own wife, tells her he'll be home soon and that he loves her, and gazes out the window at the U.S. Capitol building in DC.