The Pink Panther

The film opens with the Chief Inspector, Charles Dreyfus (Kevin Kline), who tells the story of the Pink Panther diamond theft case. A flashback appears as Dreyfus tells the story. Soccer coach Yves Gluant (Jason Statham) comes down the stadium, showing his trademark Pink Panther diamond ring. He then happily kisses Xania (Beyoncé Knowles), his girlfriend, after whispering to her. Yves' team win the match, but then Yves dies with a poison dart in his neck, and the Pink Panther diamond ring vanishes from his hand. Inspector Charles Dreyfus, eager to win the Légion d'honneur (translated as the "Medal of Honor" in the film), appoints clumsy third class detective Jacques Clouseau (Steve Martin) to the case as Dreyfus assembles a team of investigators to tackle the mystery in secret, while planning to take over the case and win the Légion d'honneur. Dreyfus also appoints Gendarme Gilbert Ponton (Jean Reno) to report on Clouseau's whereabouts at all times. Clouseau makes little progress at first, bungling one situation after another. Bizu, a star player who hated Gluant and was the prime suspect, is shot in the head and killed. A girl witness had heard him say "Oh, it's you," immediately before being shot; therefore Clouseau tells Ponton to gather all the people in Paris with the name "You". He interviews an old Cantonese woman (credited as "Yu") and appears not to understand her. While at a casino, with the intent of asking some questions of owner Raymond Larocque (Gluant's business partner, played by Roger Rees), he encounters British Secret Agent 006 Nigel Boswell (Clive Owen, parodying James Bond). Boswell later poses as Clouseau in order to conceal his identity while stopping a robbery by the notorious "Gas-Masked Bandits". Clouseau receives credit for the deed and thus is nominated for the Légion d'honneur, much to Dreyfus's annoyance. Believing that Xania knows more than she has revealed, Clouseau follows her to New York City, having tried to gain a flawless American accent but with no success. Before he can return to France, his bag is exchanged for another by a woman working for Dreyfus while he waits in line at airport security. The new bag, which contains several weapons (including a flail, a pocket knife, nunchucks, a grenade, and a revolver), sets off the metal detector. After he refuses to empty his pockets, which contain hamburgers, he is arrested, being unable to explain his situation as a result of his inability to pronounce the word "hamburger", the only word Clouseau's dialect coach tried (and failed) to teach him. Upon Clouseau's return to France, Dreyfus insults him and strips him of his inspector rank, preparing to win the case. Based on his evidence — that the poison that killed Gluant was derived from Chinese herbs — Dreyfus deduces that the killer is a Chinese envoy named Dr. Pang, whom he plans on arresting at the upcoming Presidential Ball. Dreyfus later orders the event's planners to remove Clouseau's name from the guest list. Having returned home, Clouseau finds a photo of his arrest on the Internet. He sees something significant in the photo, and immediately makes his way to the Élysée Palace with Ponton, where they sneak into the Presidential Ball with the help of Clouseau's secretary Nicole. Dreyfus arrests Dr. Pang for double murder, but Clouseau and Ponton are able to prevent the murder of Xania by pursuing and capturing the real killer, who turns out to be Yuri, the French soccer team's trainer, otherwise known to Clouseau as "the Trainer who Trains." Clouseau then reveals that the Cantonese woman, who it is made clear Clouseau understood perfectly, "reminded" Clouseau that all soccer trainers must be learned in herbal medicine; furthermore, Bizu was shot in the occipital lobe of the brain, a location that would be known to Yuri on the premise that all soldiers who served in the Russian military (as Yuri was before he was a soccer trainer) must also be expert marksmen and know the precise location of the occipital lobe (though in the film the shot was actually into the frontal lobe). Clouseau also reveals that Yuri tried to kill Xania because she went out with Gluant and Bizu and ignored him. Xania is revealed to have the Pink Panther diamond sewn into the lining of her purse, having received it from Gluant as an engagement ring. Clouseau then reveals that he had seen the diamond in her purse while examining the photograph of his arrest, which also showed a view of her purse as it appeared to the airport's luggage scanner. Dreyfus makes a clumsy attempt to take credit, saying his arrest of the Chinese envoy was a ploy to draw out the real killer. For his success, Clouseau wins the Légion d'honneur. Later, Dreyfus is severely injured when Clouseau's Smart car drags him on the road for several minutes after Clouseau unknowingly closes the door on his pant leg. A visit by Clouseau to a hospital where Dreyfus lies bandaged culminates in Dreyfus's plunge through a hospital window into a river as he lies on a gurney.