Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen can be summed up thusly: better action and CGI, more hot chicks, funnier jokes, and more grating, abhorrent dialog than its previous incarnation. There are moments in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen where human characters keep talking and talking and talking, almost as though they narcissists in love with their own voices. Characters blather on and on and in no way advance the film’s plot while doing so. I found this curious, even more so than in the first film. The humans in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen are given some much dialog and the most interesting characters, the Transformers, are given so little. In a well thought out script, the opposite would be true.

The story to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is disposable and will not be repeated ad nauseam here. Bumblebee and Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) are the best aspects of this film. Prime is stoic and upright as usual and Bumblebee is the quality, comedic relief. Both are fighters. Emil Blonsky would be proud. At the other end of the spectrum is Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf)’s college roommate, Leo Spitz (Ramon Rodriguez), who is a waste in the second and third act of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, much like Ruby Rod in the second and third act of The Fifth Element. He, Sam, and his parents, Ron Witwicky (Kevin Dunn) and Judy Witwicky (Julie White), are the biggest blatherskites in the entire film. A large percentage of their dialog is supposed to be humorous but most of the time it falls flat and is completely unnecessary.

Characters and concepts from Transformers: The Movie were introduced this time around into Michael Bay’s Transformers’ universe, namely Arcee and The Matrix of Leadership. Energon aka Energon Cubes, Ravage, and Soundwave (Frank Welker) were introduced from The Transformers television show as well the real Devastator (with a face-lift. Man I wanted to hear: “Constructicons, unite!” Oh well.) Watching Arcee get her ass blown the f*uck up was a joy. She should have been killed in Transformers: The Movie yet they killed Brawn (with one shot!), Iron Hide, et cetera from the original cartoon television series instead. At least that sin, in part, has been rectified. Ravage was insanely cool in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. He decimates a military fast response team arriving at an underground bunker where a fragment of All Spark Cube is kept with his rear hip mounted weaponry in deliciously destructive fashion.

One wonders what Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen would be like with a more serious tone and the Conan the Destroyer slap stick removed, like Michael Bay’s superior The Island. Showing what The Autobots do in their downtime instead of just sitting transformed as vehicles would have been an insightful and evolutionary addition to the Transformers franchise as well. Maybe show them conserving with each other, repairing each other, setting up a base, a home, something that did not involve humans on screen with them. We are given some of that between Megatron (Hugo Weaving), Starscream (Charlie Adler), and The Fallen (Tony Todd) but not much.

In addition, now the Transformers can take on human form, something very Terminator-esque. How they can spontaneously generate realistic flesh and blood is never explained but in a popcorn film it really does not have to be. Brains shut off. What I found curious and vastly entertaining is that Decepticon Pretender Alice (Isabel Lucas) would try to come on to Sam Witwicky instead of trying to befriend him like Terminator Cameron Phillips did to John Connor on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Why would a machine, a Transformer, do that? How would it know the intricacies of human seduction and male hormones? Why did it constantly try to “jump” Sam and make-out with him? Do not get me wrong, I was very entertained by it but I would have liked to know the mental or cybernetic process behind such action. What did the Decepticon Pretender hope to gain from such actions? If Sam took Alice up on her abundant sexual overtures, did it possess the necessary autonomy to engage in coitus? Was she fully functional like Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Why would she walk away upset after being splashed with liquid (it’s not what you think, lol) inside of Bumblebee? Why would it bother intimating being pissed at an individual it is trying to get close to, observe, and seduce? Inquiring minds would like to know. If Brody from Mallrats had seen Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, he would be asking very similar questions, except coitus would be replaced with a colorful expletive.

The Autobot Twins, Mudflap (Reno Wilson) and Skids (Tom Kenny), in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen are walking, talking, idiotic, clichéd, stereotypes of an ethnic group that resides within the borders of the United States and abroad. They are pugnacious towards each other, illiterate (“We don’t do that much reading”), and their ethnocentric faces are the icing on the deleterious cake. All that was needed to complete the shameful display were for The Twins to be decked out in platinum chains, say bitch or bitches as frequently as c*ocksucker was on HBO’s Deadwood, and for them to have aspirations for a career in rap music. Writers Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, and Ehren Kruger stooped to new and vitriol levels of ignorance with this aspect of their Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen script.

Showing old robots with beards and canes, Jetfire (Mark Ryan) and The Fallen, was a bad idea and looked foolish on screen, even for a brain-optional popcorn film, along with Transformers, e.g. Wheelie (Tom Kenny), being attracted to human beings. These segments of the film could have been cut and the film would have had a higher adrenaline factor because of it. That was not the case with the final battles in the third act of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen though. They were great.

Michael Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was more entertaining film than its predecessor yet still tries to be nothing more than popcorn. I always found this strange since with cybernetic brains, Transformers should be infinitely smart yet half the time act like spoiled children and do not seem all that concerned, save for the leaders, at all times about the war they are involved in. Only the cartoon television series seemed to get this right, which is ironic, since the cartoon was made for children twenty years ago.

==Written by Reginald Williams==

==From: Film-Book dot Com==

Somebody slap me. I've lost all credibility. I actually enjoyed "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra." No, it's not a great movie. It's not even a good movie. But I think we need a different set of aesthetic criteria to judge it; as a film, it's a failure, but as a two-hour, live-action Saturday morning cartoon, it's wildly successful. It's a double-fisted shot of over-the-top performances and flashback-based character development, with a healthy chaser of sexual tension. Clearly, this isn't "Star Trek"-caliber science fiction. 'Joe' isn't out to challenge any of our preconceived notions or accepted mores. This is decidedly in the "America kicks evil's ass" category, but playing on the status quo is really just a stepping stone to it's ultimate goal: entertainment. The plot is your fairly typical battle between good and evil.

The G.I. Joes and a malevolent group centered around a disfigured mad scientist known only as "The Doctor" battle for control of M.A.R.S., Inc.'s newest and most deadly weaponry: nanomites! These microscopic critters will eat anything made of metal until they're sent a stop signal, but unbeknownst to NATO, who funded this technology, they can also heal wounds, change a human's behavior patterns, erase memories, and even alter someone's physical appearance. Did someone say indestructible army of evil automatons? Though we're launched into the battle with only a modicum of preparation, the film threads a series of flashbacks into the narrative to develop characters and elucidate motivations. These interludes are the film's greatest strength, illuminating a surprising array of interrelationships between the Joes and their evil counterparts – ranging anywhere from classic sibling rivalry to love spurned to historical inevitability. And though I wouldn't go so far as to call the plot "classical," the writers certainly drew on some of the more enterprising elements of the Saturday morning cartoon fair when developing their narrative arc.

The performances are intentionally laughable and one-dimensional, but with names like Snake Eyes, Dr. Mindbender and Cobra Commander, how could they not be? Only Channing Tatum, playing the lead as Duke, seems to have missed the joke – but even that works in the film's favor, giving it some so-bad-it's-good flair. When I wasn't caught up in one of the crisp action sequences or distracted by the exaggerated cat-walk of the Baroness (Sienna Miller), I delightedly marveled at Tatum's theatrical ineptitude. And though I can't reveal the actor's name without giving away an essential plot twist, the evil Doctor's calculating tone and jerky mannerisms yielded the most satisfying caricature in the film. The over-long running time and the limited repartee are my only two real complaints. During their inevitable but nonetheless enjoyable courting ritual, Riptide (Marlon Wayans) and Scarlett (the innocently beautiful Rachel Nichols) steal most of the film's stimulating banter, leaving the rest of the cast with little more than terse one liner's like "Oh my God" and "Now you die!" Perhaps that's only fitting for a film made in association with a toy company, but hopefully the producers will correct this shortcoming before rolling out a sequel.

==Written by Matt Parker==

==From: In Review Online (www.inreviewonline.com)==

With a summer of letdowns almost over, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is like a breath of fresh air, a hyperactive, fast-paced, silly-as-hell motion picture that's one of this year's most fun movies (in the purest sense of the word). It ain't going to be dominating the Oscars come early next year, but is that really what this movie should be? There are serious, adult, dramatic, technically brilliant films and then there are the silly big blockbusters, and G.I. Joe is a fine example of what the latter should be.

Set in the not-too-distant future, G.I. Joe follows an elite group of operatives known as the G.I. Joe (an acronym for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity). They must team together to try and take down an organization bent on taking over the world, headed by an evil arms dealer.

Much like the Transformers franchise, G.I. Joe is based on a toy line and cartoon shows from more than two decades ago, one that was beloved (and still is) by fans around the world. It was inevitable Hollywood would have a pop at turning it into a big budget movie for the big screen one day, and for the fun and silly movie that it aims to be in equal measure, the film succeeds at its purpose admirably.

Many G.I. Joe purists out there will be mad at some of the changes director Stephen Sommers (The Mummy trilogy) has decided to employ. And it's not just the odd hair colour there, or the odd location change there, G.I. Joe has gone from the "Real American Hero" with the red, white, and blue flag, to metallic silver armour and with patriotism far from the line of sight. Heck, they've even turned the whole name into an acronym when it was just a name before and nothing else.

But is that really a problem when it comes down to enjoying the movie? Perhaps for those who are absolute purists who don't want Duke (the "leader" of the G.I. Joe) to have a hair out of place from what they recognise as the original version it might be a problem. But for today's modern movie-going context, and for those those (your truly included) who don't know a thing about G.I. Joe to start with (which the studio has to keep in mind above everything else), what G.I. Joe used to be wouldn't fly. Things needed to be changed (as they almost always do with any adaptation), and what they've converted G.I. Joe into works absolutely fine, not least because it allows all sort of gadgets and gizmos to come out and play.

One of the staples of summer blockbusters is blowing stuff up. It's almost a rule, in a way, that if there are guns and large vehicles and buildings in the vicinity, things needs to start getting lit the hell up. Michael Bay is one of the kings of this (as he proved recently with the fun, if overblown, Transformers 2), but Sommers has a firm grasp on it it here, too. But not only does he just blow stuff up, but he makes it make sense within the context of what's going on.

Almost all of the action sequences have a frenetic pace to them, often with a time-limited goal put in place that the characters need to accomplish (whether it be stop this from blowing up, get to this location before that happens, and so forth). Although it could be argued that every scene is pushed into full-on action mode left, right, and centre just for the sake of it, I ask — isn't that the point of this kind of movie?

Much of the action centres around fancy gadgets and high-tech equipment that, of course, in real life don't exist. Camouflage suits, accelerate suits ("What does it accelerate? You!"), nano weaponry, pulse guns, on and on. If this were the grittier Terminator Salvation, for example, these ideas would have an audience roaring with laughter at the stupidity and lack of believability. At least with the cheesy way the gadgets are spoken of and used, it works within the context of this movie.

One of the key aspects of G.I. Joe that makes it work so well is the fact that it's silly but also very much knows it. Many big blockbusters are silly as hell, but they don't seem to realize it. They seem to think what they're doing is smart or insightful or what have you, and the fact that they're really just dumb and silly when it comes down to it makes them fail at what they're setting out to do. Not so with G.I. Joe.

The often cheesy dialogue is what adds to the silliness of the whole thing, but again it feels very much like this is on purpose. The inclusion of Damon Wayans — amongst an odd ensemble that includes the likes of Christopher Eccleston, Sienna Miller, and Korean actor Byung-hun Lee, sporting dramatically blunt and hokey names like the Baroness, Storm Shadow, and Snake Eyes — was just one of the many things that from the ads looked like a bad idea. But within the context they actually work very well along with the silliness aim. There are perhaps a bit too many one-liners and joking around for my liking, but when you're in the middle of enjoying the film it's hard to care all that much.

Who'd have thought that with a summer that had giant destructive robots, a new, grittier Terminator movie, and Wolverine showing off his life pre-X-Men, that G.I. Joe would come out on top in terms of enjoyability? Will it endure as one of the best summer action movies? Probably not, but I don't think it needs to. To children aged 12 and under this may be the greatest thing since action figures, but in reality it's definitely not. However, it's one heck of a fun movie. Period.

==Written by Ross Miller==

==From: Movie World (www.movie-world.moonfruit.com)==

The Rise of Cobra is not your grandfather's G.I. Joe. It's more like C.G.I. Joe with explosive special-effects action sequences that provide the film with a surplus of "Boom Boom Pow" (to quote the Black Eyed Peas song that drives the end credits). This blast from the summer past is very much like the metal-munching nano-mite missiles a (literally) mad Doctor (Joseph Gordon-Levitt cashing in some of his indie cred) and McCullen, a Scottish weapons dealer (Christopher Eccleston), threaten to unleash upon the world. It never stops. Ever. The original G.I. Joe action figure was an all-American hero. These Joes are--all together now--"the best of the best," an elite multi-national squad. Two soldiers, Duke (a buff Channing Tatum), an "on the ground, in the fight" kind of guy, and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), his wisecracking best friend, are rescued by the Joes after they are ambushed while transporting the missiles. These are no ordinary Joes. Snake-Eyes (Ray Park) is a silent ninja, Stella (Rachel Nichols) a bodacious brainiac, Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) the imposing weapons specialist, and Breaker (Said Taghamaoui) the techie. They are led by gruff Gen. Hawk (Dennis Quaid), who barks out lines like, "When all else fails, we don't," with polish. Duke and Ripcord are recruited to join the classified unit after Duke discovers that Ana (Sienna Miller), his former fiancée, is in cahoots with McCullen and now sports the sinister moniker the Baroness, not to mention killer cleavage-enhancing latex outfits. This being the first in a budding franchise, there is much backstory to cover. Flashbacks date back to 1641! But the order of the day is underground military command centers, underwater evil lairs, gleaming high-tech weaponry, breakneck chases, and cool gadgets, such as a speed-accelerating hydraulic suit. It's enough to make you want to dust off your original Hasbro action figures or, the studio no doubt hopes, buy the new ones. --Donald Liebenson

Stills from G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Click for larger image)